


Switch

by Kassandra85



Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Artificial Insemination, F/M, Friendship, Love, Modern AU, New York, child kili, dog fili
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-14
Updated: 2014-07-29
Packaged: 2018-02-08 20:13:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 18,022
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1954734
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kassandra85/pseuds/Kassandra85
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Thorin and Belana have been friends since university. Their lives change drastically when Belana decides to get artificially inseminated. Will Thorin be a good friend and will he forever be stuck in the "friend zone"? Or will he make some drunk mistake and screw Belanas ovaries?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Thorin Oakenshield rushed through the crowded streets of New York and cursed. He was late for lunch and his friend disapproved of being late, especially when food was concerned. He was supposed to meet with Belana Baggins, an old friend from university. They had met at a party in Thorins last year at the university, but their relationship had been nothing but platonic from the start, mostly because Belana was simmply not Thorins type.

Belana was the complete opposite of Thorin. She was a tiny, honeyblonde woman, with a passion for poetry, gardening and cooking. She was a homely person. Belana would never think of herself as attractive, but she was in a sweet and soft kind of way.

Belana had studied botanics and Thorin had chosen architecture.

Thorin was a tall and dark man, with a sharp nose, thin lips and a full beard. He turned the heads of many women and occasionally men.

What they both shared were their blue eyes. Belanas eyes were pale blue and Thorins eyes were piercing blue. Most people who met them would claim lateron, that the first thing which had come into their minds when thinking about them was how wonderful blue their eyes were.

Today, 12 years later, Thorin stood at the red light and waited impatiently for it to turn green. He could already see the restaurant in which he would meet Belana. They had stayed in touch after university and had moved to the same city by chance. Belana owned a small, but successful, flower shop near Hyde parc and Thorins lawyer company was only down the street. Their friendship had flourished after university and they were proud to prove to everyone that a friendship between a man and a woman trully was possible without involving any sex or worse...love.

In fact, love was something that even bothered Thorin. At the university Thorin had been helping some of his friends to fix their relationships. When a relationship broke apart, Thorin tended to go out with the woman shortly afterwards, behaving like the perfect asshole. Then the woman would -in most cases- realise how good her previous relationship was and go back to her boyfriend. Thorin had fixed many broken relationships that way. He was in no way romantic or charming, he had build up a barrier of arrogance and abrasiveness around his heart. Or the remains of his heart. His highschool sweetheart had taken his heart and had shattered it in front of half the school. The passionate red hair, her name was Tauriel, had been his and only his, until a tall blonde man called Thranduil had laid his eyes on her. Tauriel had deceived Thorin for months before he found out and as he had confronted her about it, she had thrown things into his face, which had not only hurt his pride, but also his heart. She had called him cold, proud, emotionally disabled (ok this one was maybe accurate) and unable to perform his boyfriend duties. In front of everyone. Thranduil, who was already in his first year at the unniversity, studying law, had smirked at Thorins hurt expression. From that day on, Thorin had not even looked at another woman for more than just a short rumble in the sheets. Belana had been the first woman who he had approached in a friendly manner. She was friends with Bofur, whom Thorin had known since childhood and Bofur had been the one who had introduced them, knowing fully well that Belana was not Thorins type and therefore would not be in danger of landing in his bed.

Thorin was daydreaming while waiting for the green light, but a shrill voice beside him made him focus on a dirty homeless man, dressed in brown, with bird poo in his hair. He was mumbling things at every person passing by. Thorin smiled as he heard that the man was actually describing the people passing by in a very unflattering way.

'Miss Piggy nose, depressed single. Miss Piggy nose, depressed single...' the man murmured as a tall woman with a piglike nose walked by. Thorin watched her and noticed that she was wearing no rings, but a seethrough shirt with a cleavage cut down much too deep for his taste. She only looked at the men she passed and ignored the women. Thorin was surprised to see that the homeless man´s describtion seemed to be very accurate.

But then the man looked at Thorin and frowned. 'Dark, tall and alone. Dark, tall and alone, dark, tall and alone...'

Thorin frowned and quickly crossed the street as the light turned green. As he turned around, the man was still following him with his gaze. He pushed past various people until he was finally standing inside of the restaurant. Belana was already there and had spotted him. She lifted her eyebrows and waved him over, clearly being slightly upset that he was late. Thorin took a deep breath and smiled at his friend, who only frowned at him.

'You are late.' Belana greeted him and shot a dark glare towards the waiter, who had apparently already waited for their table to go to the next couple waiting. 'They nearly made me leave.'

'I apologise, I had a hard morning.' Thorin sighed and sat down. He told her about the homeless man standing by the corner and Belana lifted her brows in surprise.

'Why does this bother you so much, he was a homeless man with tourette syndrom.' Belana shrugged her shoulders and sighed. 'Or do you think that he might be right?'

'No. I am fine.' Thorin smirked. 'And as for tall and dark...'

Both chuckled as the waitress stopped by and smiled at Thorin with her brightest and most honest smile. Belana was used to being ignored by women when she was with Thorin. It was either that or the other woman would glare at her as if she could not understand what a hunk like Thorin had to do with such a little grey mouse. Or a grey bunny. But today was not the day to worry about this.

'Thorin, I need to speak to you.' Belana leaned forward and ignored the fact that the waitress had forgotten her order.

'What is it, bunny?' Thorin smirked. He knew that Belana hated that nickname, but he worried instantly as no reaction came from the woman sitting in front of him. 'Is something wrong?'

'No.' Belana smiled. She was nervous, but she trusted Thorin and wanted him to help her. 'See, Thorin, I am thirtyfive years old. It has always been my dream to settle down, with a man and some children...but now, I...I want children, Thorin. And I decided to get artificially insaminated.'

Thorin stared at his friend and forgot to breathe and to blink. Artificially...baby...oh dear...she would not want him to...

'And why are you...? Ok...' Thorin had to take a deep breath, but Belana continued.

'I know that its an important decision, not only concerning my own life, but also the child´s. That is why I wanted to talk to you, first.' Belana did not see Thorin pale. 'You are my friend and I know that you would always be honest with me...And I want you to...'

Thorin did not hear the rest of the sentence. He could not believe that she would want him to...why him?

'Thorin? Thorin!' Belana was staring at him with a frown. 'Are you even listening? What do you say? Will you help me to find a father for my child?'

Thorin blinked in surprise and felt sudden relief rush through his body. She wanted him to help her find a donor! She did not want him to father the child! Thank all the gods in this world and others!

'Of course I will help you.' Thorin sighed in relief and smiled at Belana, who also looked happy. She did look happier than usual. What was the deal with women in their thirties and babies? Thorin would never understand why women would react as unrational when it came to babies. Belana had always been focused on her goals and she usually achieved all of them. Thorin knew that the chance of women conceiving was slim when they passed a certain age, but he had never cared about it. Now he had to care. His friend had asked him for help and Thorin would do his best.

He had no idea what he had gotten himself into. Belana did not waste any time and in the evening, they sat at her apartment and went through some files of potential donors. Thorins head was swimming, but Belana would not slow down.

'Rocket scientist, blond hair, blue eyes, athletic built...oh please!' Thorin snorted and threw away the file he was reading. 'There are no such men!'

'Why shouldn´t there be?' Belana smirked at Thorins sour expression. 'But you are right, that sounded way to perfect. Listen what I got, he sounds nice. I think I might chose that guy, but I want your opinion first...Primary school teacher, teaching biology and english. Thirtythree, blond, brown eyes, straight nose...with a sense of humor, two siblings, born and raised in Erebor, near Alaska...'

Thorin almost ripped the file out of Belanas hands. 'Sweet Mother of...this is Frerin!'

'As in your brother, Frerin?' Belana wavered wether to laugh or to be shocked. What a coincidence.

'As in my baby brother Frerin.' Thorin stated and looked at the file. 'What on earth is he doing donating sperm! Our mother would turn in her grave!'

'Why?' Belana asked. 'He is helping desperate women with their wish for an own child. There is nothing bad in that.'

'There could be a dozen of them out there! I mean...Frerins children! My parents could be grandparents without even knowing!' Thorin had to sit down. 'I could be an uncle without knowing.'

'Would you like that?' Belana asked carefully. She had already chosen Frerin to be the sperm donor before she had knwon who he was. Him being Thorins brother made him even more attractive to her. Thorin was a responsible and carring man, even if he did not show it in public. Belana knew that sometimes, he was dating women for the sole purpose of driving them back to their partners, but she thought that it was kind of romantic. Maybe he was no good partner, but he was a good friend.

'Would I like what?' Thorin was confused.

'Being an uncle.' Belana sat down beside Thorin and handed him a glass of wine.

'I do not know. Maybe.' Thorin sighed. He had never thought about any sort of children in his life. His little sister Dis had settled down with another woman and had chosen to rather adopt dogs and cats than children. Their father had gone ballistic at these news and had nearly gotten a stroke. Knowing that Thorin would never want children, Frerin was their families only hope to continue the family line. Maybe this was not a bad idea after all. And Belana...she would be a wonderful mother.

'You could give it a try.' Thorin pressed out between clenched teeth. This was harder than he had thought. Belana would have his brothers baby. He had never seen that coming.

'Alright.' Belana sat back and took Frerins file into her hands. 'The next chance for an insemination would be next week. Who knows...maybe if everything goes well, we will be family soon.'


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thorin screws up majestically ^^

The following days passed quickly. Thorin was swarmed with work and Belana wanted to go to the clinic alone. Of course Thorin had offered to go with her, but Belana wanted to have some privacy. She did not have many female friends and the few she had would never understand why she did this. Of course they would support her, but Belana was sick of explaining herself. Especially Thorins sister Dis and her wife Cate could not understand why Belana did this. It was less the missing of a man in this plan, it was the missing of a partner, a partner who could share all the joy with her.

Dis was shocked as she heard that Belana had chosen Frerin of all people to be the child´s father.

'Only Thorin would have been worse...' Dis had grumbled. But as she had seen the sadness in Belanas face she had taken her friends hand. 'If you really want to do this then count us in. We will be there for you whenever you need something. Promise.'

Belana knew that Dis and Cate would help her when they could, although Belana was sure that she would never bother them about babysitting. They were living in an apartment with three dogs and two cats and Belana was afraid that her baby would adapt too many animalistic behaviours. Belana met Thorin again at Dis home. Frerin was invited, too, and Belana looked forward to meet Thorins and Dis brother who would be the father of her child. His sperm was already at the bank, hidden in one of the various fridges and tomorrow would be the big day. Belana was nervous, but she was also happy. She would be a mother. Finally.

'Belana? May I introduce my brother, Frerin?' Dis came around the corner and gave Belana a big grin. The man walking beside her almost took Belanas breath away. He was all Thorin was not. He was smiling openly and his warm brown eyes shone in his gentle face. He was shaved and his face seemed so much smoother than Thorins. He was of an athletic built, with strong arms and a wide back. His shoulders were not as sturdy and broad as Thorins, but he looked attractive as well.

'Belana. It is a pleasure to meet you. And may I say at your service.' he stated warmly and gently shook Belanas hand. His handshake was no bonecrushing one like Thorins, but it was firm and soffisticated. Belana suddenly realised that all she had done since she had seen Frerin, was comparing him with Thorin. She shook her head to clear her mind.

'Belana Baggins, it is a pleasure meeting you, too.' Belana smiled and cocked an eyebrow at Dis. 'Is Thorin adopted?'

All three of them laughed, but Belana saw Dis frown as a black haired woman walked up beside them.

'Ah...and this is my wife...Deana.' Frerin introduced the woman and Belana looked at Dis in confusion. Neither Thorin nor Dis had told her that Frerin was married. After an awkward moment of small talk, Dis walked away with Deana and left Belana alone with Frerin.

'Well...this was...surreal.' Belana looked at Frerin with big eyes.

'Let me guess, my darling sibblings have not told you that I am married.' Frerin guessed correctly and looked at Belana with a smirk.

'It seems that they forgot that little detail.' Belana stated dryly and tried not to be too mad at Thorin and Dis. 'But how...? What does your wife say about this? Does she know about you donating your...you know...'

Frerin laughed quietly and nodded. 'Of course she knows. I am doing this because of her. You see, Deana and I cannot get pregnant. We have been trying for years now. The clinic made us an offer we had to accept. I donate my sperm for medical and academic purposes and Deana gets a free treatement. This also involves selling my sperm, but Deana was alright with it. Her treatment is very expensive, you know.'

'So, she is alright with the fact that other women chose your sperm to get artificially inseminated?' Belana was shocked. 'Wow, that is...you must really love each other.'

'We do.' Frerin smiled lovingly and looked over at his wife, who was standing beside Dis. 'I am only doing this for her. And some day, hopefully, we will hold our own baby in our arms.'

Belana nodded in understanding and smiled at Thorins brother. How two brothers could be that different, she would never understand. And speaking of Thorin...Belana tracked him down talking to his best friend Dwalin in the corner of the living room. Her expression must have been thunderous, because young Ori, Dwalins boyfriend, sneaked away with a scared expression.

'Thorin, may I have a word with you?' Belana managed to ask politely and smiled at Dwalin. 'Hey Dwalin.'

'Hi Bunny.' Dwalin grinned at Belanas frown and instantly followed his boyfriend. 'I think I´ll hurry out of the fireline.'

Belana turned to Thorin who had the nerve to look innocent. 'What is it?'

'You are not seriously asking me this?' Belana tried to keep her voice down, but she only barely managed. 'I came to you for support and I asked you for your opinion on Frerin as a donor and you forgot to tell me that he is married?'

'You seemed so happy to have found your perfect donor, who was I to ruin it for you?' Thorin tried to apologise. 'And whats the big deal anyway? He is only a sperm donor, not a father substitute. Or would you date him if he was single? That would be the incorrect order of things, Belana.'

'You have no right to tell me in what "order" I have to live my life, Thorin!' Belana snarled and pointed her finger at Thorin. 'You should have told me. I am so mad at you right now...'

Thorin could do nothing but watch Belana storm away that evening. He felt guilty, but in his stubborness he did not even think of apologising to her. But he did sit down with Dwalin and drank...alot. Soon, Frerin joined them and sometime in the middle of the night, the three men walked home. Or better say, Dwalin walked home. Frerin and Thorin walked to the sperm bank. Frerin had a key to the laboratory and wanted to show Thorin how the sperm was kept until it was inserted. In their drunk state the two brothers stumbled into the lab and started to look for Frerins specimen. Thorin was the one who found it and looked at the small vial with a mixture of disgust and wonder.

'Women actually pay for this.' he mumbled and went to the men´s room to relieve his bladder. It was not until then that he realised that he was still holding the vial on his hands. 'Ewww...' Thorin put the vial onto the edge of the sink and opened his trousers to take a leak. After he finished he reached out for the water plug and heard something shatter into the sink. At first he did not realise what it was and washed his hands. Then, he took a closer look and felt like throwing up. He had knocked over Frerin vial with his specimen. The vial had opened and the specimen had flowed down the drain.

'Fuck.' Thorin cursed and leaned over the sink, taking a good look at the empty vial. Then and there, Thorin Oakenshield probably had the stupidest idea in his life. 'They want sperm, they´ll get sperm.'

#

Thorin woke up on Dwalins couch the next day. A winced as he fell back into the pillows with a massive hangover. It did not help that his mobile phone started to ring in this very moment. He looked at the display and frowned. It was Belana. Belana...he vaguely remembered that something had happened between them yesterday, but every memory from the last evening was no more than a blur.

'Yes.' Thorin answered the phone and heard Belana chuckle.

'For goodness sake, Thorin. It is one o´clock in the afternoon. Are you still in bed?' she asked.

'I am not in bed, I am on Dwalins couch...how the hell did I get here?' Thorin tried to slowly sit up again and groaned.

'Alright, listen...we need to talk.' Belana sounded serious. 'I wanted to meet you at lunch, but I guess we should postpone it to dinner?'

'Dinner it is, then.' Thorin tried to fight his nausea.

'Alright. Bomburs at eight. Do not be late!' Belana told him and hung up. Thorin squeezed his eyes shut and sighed. He already knew that Belana would send him a message at about six to remind him of their dinner. He rolled off the couch and walked to the bathroom. Too late he realised that he was totally naked. He heard Ori gasp as he walked by the open kitchen and heard Dwalin snigger. But he did not care. He needed a shower. Right now. Maybe then, he would remember something.

'Well mate, you seemed to have an interesting evening!' Dwalin roared of laughter as Thorin joined them in the kitchen, ignoring Oris blush when he looked at him.

'I would not know...' Thorin sighed and took a sip of the black coffee Dwalin had made him. 'I do not remember anything after my fight with Belana.'

'We drank alot.' Dwalin tried to be helpful. 'We were drinking until Dis threw us out. On your way out you stepped onto one of her cat´s tails...which one was it? Merry?'

'No, Pippin.' Ori remembered. 'In case you find any scratches on you left leg, that would have been him.'

'Thank goodness.' Thorin sighed and felt relieved. He had seen the scratches under the shower, but he had been too scared to ask.

'Well, anyway...since my little Ori was a doll and helped Dis to clean up, we walked home. At least I walked home. You and Frerin went somewhere else. Do you really not remember?'

'Not a thing.' Thorin massaged his temple and sighed.

'Well, you surely did nothing of importance. Otherwise you would remember.' Ori stated and did not know how wrong he was.

#

We have a table at eight at Bombur´s. Do not be late. I have to discuss something important with you.

Thorin could not help but wince at Belanas message, but he did not know why. But she sounded serious. Today had been her appointment at the clinic. Did something go wrong? Suddenly, Thorin was worried. He rushed out of Dwalins apartment at four in the afternoon and hurried to get a little something for Belana. He practically ran past a shop which sold children´s toys and grabbed a small plush bunny. He was at the restaurant at eight, panting like a madman. Not one single cab had stopped for him, so he had run the eight blocks for getting to the restaurant. Thorin took a deep breath and tried to look relaxed and calm as he walked into Bombur´s. The restaurant was Belanas favorite, for it was serving huge steaks and if you finished one, you got the second one for free. It was the ideal restaurant if you were dating a puma. Thorin smiled as he saw Belana go through the menu as he entered.

Belana looked up from her menu as a small plush bunny was placed in front of her. It was a cute little bunny and its fur had the same color as her hair.

'Very funny, Oakenshield.' she muttered, but smiled at her friend nevertheless. 'You are on time.'

'I would never be late twice in such a short period of time.' Thorin smirked, but then he remembered why he was there. 'You wanted to talk and you sounded serious. Did something happen at the bank? Are you alright?'

'The bank? Sperm or regular?' Belana tried to joke, but Thorin would have no jokes. She could see that he worried. 'Everything is alright, I had my appointment today and everything went just fine. Its not that I wanted to talk to you about.'

'Oh.' Thorin was relieved that Belana was alright. But what did she want to discuss with him then?

'Thorin, I will leave New York.'


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thorin meets the kid.

Thorin cursed as he reached for his morning paper. There was a hole right in the middle of it and the world news had been chewed on and spit out on his carpet. Right beside it, on the parquet floor, was a huge puddle. Thorin had no idea how a creature that small could pee that much.

Belana had given him a welsh terrier puppy as she had left four months ago. She had seen him in the shelter and had fallen in love with him instantly. But in her pregnancy she had become allergic to animal hair and had dumped the puppy on Thorin, hoping that Thorin would be able to tie some social bounds with the help of the cute little dog. The dogs name was Fili and Thorin tried to hate him, but he could not. The small dog had curly blond locks and a cute little beard. Everyone fell in love with him. But to Thorin, the dog was a reminder of what he had lost. He had lost one of his closest friends. Belana had moved to San Fransisco, because she had been offered a job as a botanics specialist for the national parc in California. Thorin had only heard of her twice since. Belana had been pregnant when she had left, a fact which made Thorin worry even more about her future. She was pregnant and alone, how was she supposed to take care of herself and the babe without any friends or family in San Fransisco? Belana had told him that her grandfather, an old man called Gandalf Grey, lived near San Fransisco and would help her if she needed anything. Thorin had snorted at the ridiculous idea that an old man - and if he was Belanas grandfather, then he was definetly old - could support her enough, but Belana had not discussed this with him. Thorin felt as if they lost their strong bond more an more and he felt awful about that. But if this was what Belana wanted then he would not interfere. He waited for her to contact him and as she did not, he accepted it.

Five years later their contacts had diminished to cards on their birthdays and christmas and occasional phone calls. It was on a warm spring´s morning that Thorin got a call on his mobile on his way to work. It was Belana.

'Thorin! How are you? Guess what...' Belana did not even let Thorin answer her question, which made him smile. This was the Belana he knew, rambling nonstop when she was nervous.

'I am back in New York! We are back in New York! I am sorry that I did not tell you sooner, but I wanted it to be a surprise!' Belana sounded happy and Thorin could hear her sizzle in the back, probably unpacking.

'You are back?' Thorin tried to hide the happy vibrations in his deep voice. 'This is wonderful!'

'Yes, it is...listen, Thorin, I would love to see you. How about dinner at Bombur´s again?' Belana asked and Thorin could hear murmuring next to her. It sounded familiar. 'Ahh...and I shall tell you that Dis is mad at you for not accepting her as a friend on facebook.'

'I ignore her on purpose.' Thorin smirked as he heard Dis growl. 'And I would love to have dinner tonight.'

'Alright, see you at eight!' Belana cheered and hung up. Thorin sat on his chair and mused for a while. He had alot to do.

#

Dwalin gasped in amusement as he came to pick up Thorin for lunch and found his friend trying on new clothes in his office. He had switched from his usual comfortable dresscode to shirts and - for goodness sake, was that a jacket?

'What...? What happened to you?' Dwalin asked and smirked as Thorin fought with a tie.

'I...ah, screw it!' Thorin threw away the tie and stood there in black trousers and a simple white shirt with an open collar. 'How do I look?'

'You look...different.' Dwalin looked his friend up and down and smiled. Ori would love the cleavage. Thorin was showing some chest hair and Dwalin had to admit that he looked incredibly handsome. 'Alright, who is she?'

Dwalin had not known that Thorin had met a woman, but there was only this explanation for it.

'Why are you thinking that...?' Thorin saw Dwalin cross his arms over his chest and sighed. He knew him too well. 'Belana is back in town.'

'Belana? Thats wonderful!' Dwalin looked at his friend closely. 'Have you already seen the boy? What was his name again?'

'His name is Kili.' Thorin told him. 'I guess that he will be there this evening. We are going out to dinner at Bombur´s.'

'Ah, the meat restaurant!' Dwalin rubbed his hands in anticipation. 'You have never met the boy, ey? Are you nervous?'

'Why should I be?' Thorin asked and became more nervous with every passing minute.

'Well, its the first time you see the boy. Is he alot like Frerin?' for some reason, Dwalin could not imagine a small mixture of Frerin and Belana.

'He looks nothing like Frerin, but the last picture I saw was one from his first birthday. The boy has almost black hair and brown eyes. Huge and cute eyes. He is really cute.' Thorin told his friend and wondered. The boy looked more like Dis, who had brown hair and brown eyes. He had nothing from Belana.

'Babies change a bit during their first few years of age. I heard that nature makes them look more like the father for him to accept the little ones. But maybe its different with ...Kili. Some features also skip a generation.' Dwalin was curious. 'Call me tomorrow after you met them, I want to hear everything.'

#

Thorin arrived at the restaurants ten minutes early. He was fidgety and happy to see his good friend Belana again. Belana and Kili. Nervously, Thorin buttoned up his shirt. He had been stared at during the whole ride with the bus and one woman had practically undressed him with her eyes. Thorin was used to this, but today he felt bothered by it. He had been in and out of various relationships during the last years, but not one had been serious. He was a happy single man and intended to stay that way. Taking a deep breath, Thorin stepped through the door and saw Belana sit near the fish tank of the restaurant. Fish tank? Thorin took a look at the place and even stepped outside again to read the sign over the door. He frowned and walked to Belana who smirked at him.

'Let me guess, you haven´t been here for as long as I have been gone?' Belana smiled at Thorins nod. He was looking good and he had changed a bit. He seemed more grown up and his style was more...soffisticated. It added to his attractiveness. 'You look good, Thorin.'

'Thank you, so do you.' Thorin sat down and looked around for the kid. 'What happened to this place?'

'Apparently, Bombur had to sell it because his cousin Bifur had a severe car accident and needs medical care. Bombur sold the restaurant to be there for his cousin, which is really sweet.' Belana smiled as the waiter brought the menu. 'But the "Imladris"? Sounds awfully healthy...and it is.'

Thorin winced as he looked into the menu and barely found anything with meat in it. 'Uhmm...should we switch the place?'

'You know...I would, but Kili...' Belana shrugged her shoulders. 'He loves such restaurants and he barely eats meat.'

'Oh really?' Thorin frowned at the idea of a little boy not eating meat. 'Where is he, by the way?'

'He´s over there, by the fish tank.' Belana pointed over and Thorin laid eyes on a tall and blond boy, happily staring at the fish. It seemed as if he had changed after all.

'Dean!' a woman called out and the blonde boy rushed to another table. Thorin blinked in surprise as his gaze fell onto a small boy with dark brown hair and huge brown eyes. The little boy looked grumpy and he did not seem as happy as the other boy to watch the fish swim in the huge aquarium.

'Kili, dear, come here, I want you to meet my best friend, Thorin.' Belana waved and smiled lovingly at her son.

Kili walked over and shyly looked at Thorin through his thick eyelashes. Thorin could do nothing but stare at the boy who looked very much like his sister, Dis, only that Dis was merrier. This boy looked as if he never laughed or smiled.

'Say good evening, dear.' Belana nudged him softly and Kili awoke from his petrified state.

'Good evening, Mister.' he muttered and looked at Thorin with big eyes. 'Its nice to meet you.'

'Nice, to meet you too, Kili.' Thorin shook his hand and noticed that the boy really had a good grip. 'So? Are you enjoying New York so far?'

'Mmmmhmmmm.' Kili shrugged his shoulders.

'Kili, darling, speak up.' Belana scolded her son.

'You said that I should not speak to strangers.' Kili told her and frowned.

'This is no stranger, this is Thorin. He is one of my best friends.' Belana said and smiled warmly at Thorin, who started to like the stubborn boy.

'He is your friend. I know nothing about him, so he is a stranger to me.' Kili pointed out and Thorin leaned forward.

'Now, lets change that, shall we?' Thorin usually was no good with kids, but this little fellow touched something in him. 'I will start. I am Thorin, I am thirtynine years old and I live in New York. I like architecture, coffee, women...' at that Belana shot him a dark glare, but Thorin only grinned. 'And I have a small dog, Fili. Your mother gave him to me. Now you know more about me, we are practically already friends.'

Kili looked sceptical, but Thorin had seen his eyes shine at the mention of the dog.

'I am Kili, I am five years old and I used to live in San Fransisco by the sea. Now I live in a big and chaotic city called New York. I like...I like...dogs.' Kili finished and a slight twitch in his lips showed a small smile.

Belana rolled her eyes, but Thorin grinned. 'I will introduce you to Fili later this week, then.'

'Why not now?' Kili asked and Thorin suddenly found it quite hard to look away from those big brown eyes.

'Well, I am sure that Fili is sleeping already.' Belana told her son. Thorin snorted quietly. Fili was probably enjoying to cuddle into the pillows of his expensive couch, which he knew was forbidden. When Thorin came home, he always found the small dog nap in his own little dogbed, but he also found doghair on his couch. Fili always gave him an innocent puppy look, which Thorin found hard to resist. In a way he was like Kili.

'Can I go back to the fishtank, Mom?' Kili asked sweetly and Belana nodded. 'You can talk to my mother now, Thorin.'

Thorin looked at the little boy in surprise, but Belana smiled at her son, who already walked away.

'He is a very clever little guy.' she smirked as Thorin nodded, not taking his eyes of Kili. 'You like him, I can see it.'

'Of course I like him. He is your son.' Thorin answered and Belana gave him a warm smile. A grin formed on her heartshaped lips.

'He thinks I´m a lesbian.' Belana told Thorin, who flinched.

'He is five. How does he even know what a lesbian is?' Thorin asked, but he should have known. 'Wait, he reads, right? He is a bookworm like you.'

Belana smiled brightly and sat back in her chair. 'That and the fact that he is teased by the other children in kindergarden. Since he has no father and never had one, the other children automatically think that...I have no interest in men.'

'You have no interest in men.' Thorin grinned as Belana nudged his arm. 'They were all wrong for you.'

'And who is right for me, Thorin?' Belana asked and suddenly Thorin felt drawn to her blue eyes. He quickly cleared his throat and changed the subject.

'So, how was your life in San Fransisco?' he asked and took a sip of his wine. What the hell was wrong with him?

'Well...' Belana smiled and played along. 'My move was alright, grandpa helped me alot. He was also there when I had my C-section. Kili came two weeks early and the pain...you have no idea how much labour hurt!'

'That bad?' Thorin lifted his eyebrows and looked at his friend who frowned.

'Thorin, I am pretty sure that you know how babies are made, but do you also know where they come out?' Kili turned his head as he heard Thorins booming laughter. He saw his mother and her friend talking and he saw the smile on his mothers face and her relaxed posture. The little boy looked back at the fish merrily swimming around and started musing.

'So, Thorin.' Belana leaned towards her friend. 'How have you been?'


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thorin and Belana talk.....a bit.....

'Well, I have been in a few relationships in the last years. Nothing serious, nothing great.' Thorin shrugged his shoulders as he strolled through Central Park with Belana and Kili. Kili was running around with Fili, while Thorin and Belana had some time to catch up with each others lives.

'Of course...' Belana smiled as Thorin cocked an eyebrow at her. 'Oh please, Thorin, my orgasms last longer than your relationships!'

Thorin laughed and gently nudged Belanas shoulder. 'Listen, you raisin in sneakers...'

'Mom! Look what we found!' Kili called out for Belana and Fili barked in excitement.

'Is he holding trash?' Belana sighed and Thorin chuckled.

'He is indeed holding trash...Kili!' both exclaimed and ran towards the boy and the dog. All of the people passing by smiled at the happy family, not knowing that they weren't a family.

#

'Why have you never called?' Thorin asked Belana on their way back to her apartment.

'You never called either...' Belana looked at him with big eyes and Thorin felt his heart melt.

'You are a single woman with a job and ...I did not want to disturb your peace and quiet.' Thorin told her and frowned. 'Why didn't you call?'

'Well, I am a single mother, with a job and not free time.' Belana answered and made Thorin laugh. He was sure that he had already laughed more in the last hours with Belana than in the last years without her.

'So...I guess that nothing of importance happened here?' Belana asked and Thorin tried to think of anything that might interest her.

'No, not really.' he mumbled and Belana nodded.

'How is your family? I Frerin happy in Texas with his wife? Do they have children on their own, yet?' Belana asked and Thorin winced. 'Oh, bad question?'

'Frerin divorced his wife last year.' Thorin told his friend and heard Belana gasp. 'Apparently, he loved her more than she him.'

'But...after all they have been through? He did everything for her!' Belana exclaimed.

'Maybe that was the problem. She took everything for granted and did not appreciate him.' Thorin stated and frowned. He had never liked Frerins wife. She was cold and distant and she had never shown affection for Frerin. She had been the one who could not get pregnant, but she had only blamed Frerin. In the end she had even blamed him for selling his sperm to finance her medical treatment.

Thorin bit his lower lip. He had wanted to ask Belana something for ages now and he had to ask her now, before he lost his courage.

'Why didn't you want my sperm?' Thorin asked straight away and made Belana chocke on her breath.

'I beg your pardon?' Belana stopped walking and looked at her best friend.

'I...why did you never ask me for my sperm? I would have...helped you.' Thorin winced and cursed for sounding so stupid.

'You...We...we are best friends, that would have been ...weird.' Belana was at a loss of words. 'And...listen, don't get me wrong, but you are...you are overly proud, tend to arrogance, you are pessimistic...'

'I am realistic, I beg you to differ.' Thorin interrupted her and tried not to look too hurt. So, Belana did not want a child with him. Why did it even bother him?

Belana saw the hurt in her friends eyes and took his arm. 'You are a ladiesman, Thorin. You don't want a relationship, you don't want responsibility...'

'Who says that?' Thorin was surprised by Belanas words. 'Just because I have not settled down, yet?'

'You always pursue your goals with deadly precision. If you want something, you take it or make it happen.' Belana sighed. 'If you had wanted a family, you would have made it happen.'

In this moment, none of them realised that Thorin had already done so by taking faith into his own hands.

#

'She rejected your sperm?' She said that into your face?' Dwalin was speechless. 'I never thought that the lass would be so brutal.'

Dwalin and Thorin had met in their favorite fitess center. They used the treadmils and while Thorin was runng like a maniac, Dwalin walked and even ate an energy bar.

'Are you seriously eating chocolate while running?' Thorin grimaced. He did not want to talk about Belana and her choices anymore.

'I need energy, its an energy bar. You burn muscles, while I am burning fat.' Dwalin grinned at waved at Ori, who was sitting on one of the bicycles.

After their workout, they had dinner in Dwalins apartment. Thorin nearly threw up while witnessing the sweetness between Dwalin and Ori.

'Oh yeah, put it in my mouth, baby.' Dwalin purred as Ori gave him a strawberry to eat from their dessert and Thorin rolled his eyes. He decided to drink more, since Dwalin had offered that he could sleep on their couch. They had just opened their second bottle of wine as the lights went out.

'Oh great. Second time this week.' Dwalin murmured, but Ori seemed prepared. After a while, a dozen candles were lit and Thorin was close to call a cab home.

'Please...just don't be too loud, alright?' he begged as Dwalin and Ori went to sleep.

Thorin slumped down on the couch and pulled a giant pillow over his ears. He managed to fall asleep after two hours and woke up on the middle of the night. Someone was opening the giant fridge in the kitchen and Thorin stood up with a groan to make sure that no burglar had found his way into the apartment. But it was only Dwalin, who stood in front of the fridge with an open bath robe.

'Ah yes, this is good!' he exclaimed and Thorin fought the urge to cover his eyes.

'What the hell are you doing?' Thorin asked and made Dwalin jump.

'The air-conditioning is off.' Dwalin explained and sighed as he leaned closer into the fridge.

'For the love of God, are you naked below this?' Thorin sighed and fought a grin. 'Please close it before the food spoils!'

'Alright.' Dwalin sighed and closed his robe.

'Actually, I meant the fridge.' Thorin smirked and shook his head. But for the moment, he was able to forget his sorrow about Belana.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thorin is clueless.

Thorin took care of Kili two days later when Belana had an appointment at the bank to buy a new flower store. They went to the zoo and walked through Central Parc. Kili was holding Fili and Thorin could not let them out of his sight for one moment without them causing mayhem.

'So, little man? How is your new school?' Thorin asked Kili when they settled for ice cream.

'Its ok.' Kili told him, but said nothing more.

'Just ok?' Thorin looked at the small boy closely and could see a hesitant gleam in his eyes. 'Ok, what´s his name?'

Kili looked at Thorin is surprise and sighed. 'Gimli. Gimli Gloinson. I beat his friend Legolas in gym class and now he teases me.'

'I see.' Thorin frowned. Kili was small for his age and he hoped that he would only be teased and not hurt by this other boy.

'How did you know?' Kili asked while he gave Fili the rest of his ice cream cone. The dog chewed happily on the treat and licked Kilis hands clean.

Thorin grimaced and quickly gave Kili a wet wipe to clean his hands. 'Well, I was in your position when I was about your age.'

'You? But you are...you are tall and strong!' Kili looked at Thorin with big eyes.

'I wasn´t always like that.' Thorin smirked. 'I was a beanpole when I was younger. And I was quite odd looking, I still think I am.'

'Did somebody tease you or beat you up at school?' Kili asked and Thorin had to grin.

'Yes, almost every day.' Thorin nodded.

'Who was it?' Kili wanted to know.

'My sister, Dis.' Thorin stated dryly and grinned.

They drove back in the bus a few hours later. Fili had rolled himself into a furball to Thorins feet and Kili fell asleep against him. He wrapped an arm around Kili and met the gaze of a woman sitting near them. She smiled at him, no, at them.

'He looks like you.' she stated and Thorin heart skipped a beat. 'You must be really proud.'

'He is not my son.' Thorin said and the woman raised her eyebrows.

'Oh, really? Funny, I could have sworn.' she looked at Kili again and then at Thorin. 'Are you sure?'

Thorin sighed and tried to hide his annoyance. 'I think I would know if he would be mine.'

'Sure, you would.' the woman smirked.

The rest of the bus ride, Thorin tried to get a better look at Kili and compared it to his own refelction in the window. They did look similar, but Kili was Frerins son, so a certain similarity was normal. Was it?

Thorin was still musing as they walked to Belanas apartment. Belana was already there and was cooking dinner.

'There you are!' Belana kneeled down to Kili and gave him a big kiss. 'How was your day?'

'Great! We went to the zoo and took a walk! And we took the bus home!' Kili exclaimed excited and Fili started barking.

'Oh! There is a hairy beast in my home!' Belana jumped as Fili started to jump up her leg. 'Why is there a hairy beast in my home?'

'Because he bought you dinner?' Thorin grinned as Belana threw a kitchen towel at him. 'This is Fili. You got allergic and gave him to me, remember?'

'Oh yes, right!' Belana took a closer look at the dog and smiled brightly. 'He is a rascal, I can practically see the mischief in his eyes.'

'He is my best friend!' Kili shouted and took Filis leash. 'We will play in my room for a while.'

'Ok, but not chewing on your toys...and I mean you, Kili!' Belana shouted after them.

Thorin smiled and made ready to leave.

'hey, big guy, where are you off to?' Belana smiled at Thorin over her shoulder. 'Don´t you want to stay for dinner? I cooked plenty.'

'As usual.' Thorin remarked, but joined Belana at the kitchen counter. 'Need any help?'

'You could open the wine.' Belana gave him the bottle and the opener.

'So...how was your day? Did you get the money from the bank?' Thorin asked and opened the wine with one swift move.

'Yes, Yes I did.' Belana smiled happily. 'And you will never guess who I met at the bank! Frerin!'

Thorin nearly missed the glass while pouring wine in it. 'Frerin? My brother?'

'Yes! We talked and...this divorce must have been so horrible! It was juts finalised a few months ago!' Belana felt sorry for Frerin. He had loved his wife so much and he had wanted a family that badly. 'We will meet again tomorrow.'

'You and Frerin?' Thorin had to put down the bottle before it slipped out of his hand which had gone limp.

'Yes, me and Frerin.' Belana looked at Thorin and frowned. 'What is it?'

'You...are you...interested in him?' Thorin stuttered and felt sick.

'No...well, maybe...I don´t know.' Belana turned around so that Thorin could not see her blush, but Thorin knew her too well.

'Belana, this is my brother. And...what about Kili? Does he even know that Frerin is his father?' Thorin asked Belana who shook her head.

'No. It was in the contract that the donor would remain unknown unless he wishes otherwise.' Belana told him. 'But Frerin seems to be fine with it. We haven´t talked about it much, though.'

'You have a date. With my little brother.' Thorin wanted to thrown up.

'Thorin.' Belana turned around and took his hand. 'Does this bother you?'

'I...' Thorin took a deep breath. No, it did not bother him. Why should it bother him? Belana was his friend. 'No, it does not bother me. Do you need a babysitter for tomorrow?'

'Yes! Thorin, you are the best!' Belana stood on tip toes and kissed Thorins cheek right above the beard. Thorin tried not to relish in the touch of her soft lips, but then Belana yelled into his ear. 'Fili! Kili! Dinner is ready!'


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thorin realises what he has done.....

Belana came home from her date finding Thorin and Kili fighting over the remote. Fili was jumping up and down on the couch and took sides with Kili.

'Kili, give me the remote.' Thorin tried to stay reasonable.

'No!' Kili shouted playfully.

'Yes.' Thorin answered.

'No.'

'Yes.'

'No.'

'Yes.'

'No.'

Belana watched Thorin and Kili for a while and smiled. They were so much alike. But of course they were, they are uncle and nephew, Belana reminded herself. Her date with Frerin had been wonderful. He had been attentive, polite and he was even eager to meet little Kili. The would not tell Kili that Frerin was his father, though. They would wait until their relationship would grow stronger. belana had a dreamy smile on her face as she realised that Thorin was looking at her. Belanas smile vanished as she caught the sad look in Thorins eyes and the frown he gave her. Suddenly she felt bad about herself and she did not understand why. She only knew that she hated that look on Thorins face.

'How was your date?' Thorin asked quietly and Kili snuggled into the couch with Fili and the remote.

'It was good.' Belana almost did not want to tell Thorin that it went really well and that she would continue dating Frerin. 'Your brother sends his regards...and maybe you should give him a call. He said that you have not talked much the last months.'

'He told me to bugger off last time I called.' Thorin mumbled. Great, now Belana thought that he was an insensitive bastard for letting his brother alone in his misery.

'I know, he told me. He feels awful about this.' Belana took of her jacket and sat back in one of the big armchairs. Her feet were killing her and she immediately dropped her shoes. 'He would be happy if you called again, though.'

'Maybe I will.' Thorin sighed and took his own jacket. 'Well, its late...I will go and ...I will just go.'

'Bye, uncle Thorin!' Kili shouted and both Thorin and Belana paled.

'Uncle?' Belana asked Kili and frowned at Thorin who shook his head. He knew what she wanted to ask, but he had not told Kili anything about his family ties.

'Thorin is your best friend, right Mom?' Kili grinned at his mother. 'I thought it would be appropriate to call him uncle.'

'Right.' Belana let out a deep sigh. 'Of course.'

'Goodbye, little fella, see you later then.' Thorin tussled Kilis hair and took Fili. The dog ws reluctant to leave his play buddy, but he followed Thorin out anyway.

'Thorin, wait.' Belana rushed to the door behind them and caught up as Thorin stood in the open door. He looked at her expectantly and Belana smiled. 'Thank you for taking care of Kili. You helped me out alot there.'

Thorin took a deep breath and gave her a forced smile. 'You´re welcome. I will call Frerin tomorrow.'

'Yes, do that.' Belana waved . 'Good night, Thorin.'

'Good night, Belana.' Thorin swallowed and walked out of the building as fast as he could. Fili almost could not follow on his shorter legs.

Outside of the building, Thorin exhaled and looked down at his dog. 'I feel like visiting Dwalin, what do you say?'

Fili only tilted his head and looked up at Thorin in confusion.

'Great, Thorin. Talking to the dog now.' Thorin stated and started walking towards Dwalin home. Thankfully they were all not living very far apart from each other. And Fili needed a walk anyway.

Dwalin opened the door in his bath robe.

'Oh, for heaven´s sake, don´t you ever wear clothes at home?' Thorin sighed.

'Nope. At leats not when Ori is home.' Dwalin grinned. 'Come on in. A beer?'

'Please!' Thorin had the feeling that he would not sleep at home this time either.

'Whoa, what happened?' Dwalin had finally noticed the look on his friends face. 'Ah, don´t tell me. Belana?'

'Is it that obvious?' Thorin sat down in the kitchen while Fili went to look for Ori. A high pitched shriek told them that the he found him a few moments later.

'What did she do now? I thought that she could not do anything worse than reject your sperm.' Dwalin took a beer himself.

'She is dating Frerin now.' Thorin told him and Dwalin chocked on his beer.

'No! You are shitting with me!' Dwalin managed to spit out as he could breathe normally again.

'Language, darling.' Ori came into the kitchen with Fili on his arms. The dog was happily chewing on something that looked like a pink sock. 'What happened?'

'Belana is going out with Frerin.' Dwalin informed his boyfriend.

'Isn´t this a good thing? Frerin has been so down lately and he is after all the father of Kili. Maybe this is a really good thing!' Ori saw the look on both his boyfriends and his friends face and decided to take it back. 'Ok, its not. Would somebody mind telling me why this is not good?'

'Maybe you should talk to Frerin.' Dwalin told Thorin. 'When did you two last talk anyway?'

'We talked alot during his divorce, but he freaked me out. He was always the funny and happy one of the two of us.' Thorin shook his head. 'This woman ruined him. The last time we had fun together was at that party when we broke into the sperm bank...oh my GOD!'

Ori nearly dropped Fili and Dwalin chocked on his beer for the second time in five minutes. 'What? What?'

Thorin was pale as the sheets and pressed his palm against his forehead. The sperm bank. Some memories came crushing over him in waves. The vial with Frerins sperm in his hands. Too much to drink at the party before. The woman´s words on the bus about Kili and him...

'Ohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygod...' Thorin started pacing in the kitchen and tried to get his memories straight.

Dwalin and Ori looked at him as if he had lost his mind. 'Thorin are you alright?'

Thorin only muttered something that sounded like a yes and continued with his "oh my gods".

'Then tell us why you are acting like a mad man already!' Dwalin growled. 'And stop the pacing, you are driving Ori crazy.'

'You. He is driving you crazy.' Ori corrected him. 'Thorin, sit down and tell us what´s wrong!'

Thorin took a seat and tried to calm down. 'I am so screwed.'

Dwalin gave him a hard slap to the back of his head. 'Tell us, damnit! What did you do?'

'I...do you remember Dis´party five years ago? The one where Frerin and Belana first met?' Thorin asked his friends and earned a nod from Ori and a huff from Dwalin. 'Well, anyway. We...' he pointed at Dwalin and himself. '...we had a few drinks and you walked home. Frerin and I walked home, too, but we passed the sperm bank where Frerin had donated...his...you know. He still had the keys and so we thought that we might look at this...place. I remember now...we found the vial with his...donation...and I...oh God...I accidently dumbed it into the sink.'

'You dumbed Frerins donation into the sink?' Ori frowned. 'But I thought that Belana got artificialy inseminated the next day? Successfully?'

'Yes. Yes, she did.' Thorin felt very sick. 'I replaced Frerins donation with...mine. I hijacked Belanas pregnancy for crying out loud!'

'How...' Ori tried to understand what Thorin had just told them. 'How on earth could you forget that?'

'I was drunk! We were drunk.' Thorin stood up and paced again.

'Does Frerin know?' Dwalin asked.

'No, he was already outside getting some fresh air.' Thorin was in need of some air, too. 'I am a horrible person! I have to tell her!'

'No!' Dwalin and Ori both exclaimed. Dwalin took his friends arm and forced Thorin to sit down again. 'Lets just...recapitulate. You slept over at our place that night. I remember you ringing us out of our bed because you got lost on the way to your own apartment. You lost Frerin somewhere on the way, too. Good gracious Thorin, at least your sperm has a better sense of direction than you have!'

Ori chuckled, but he soon shut up because of the death glare Thorin gave him.

'So, you came to our apartment at three at night and babbled something about love, sperm, friendship...you scared the hell outta me by the way...but now all of this babbling makes sense! You were talking about Belana that night!' Dwalin slapped his palm against his forehead.

'So...Kili is your son?' Ori pointed out the obvious.

'He is my...' Thorin managed to say before the world around him got dark and he fainted. He landed on the floor with a loud bump and made Fili jump back onto Oris arms again.

'We told him to sit down, but No!' Ori murmured before Dwalin took Thorin by the arms and shoved him to the couch.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so far for all your comments, kudos and bookmarks! So lovely!


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thorin needs to chill....

Thorin woke up a few moments later. He was shivering and felt cold and hot at the same time. Kili. Kili was his son, not his nephew. Frerins nephew, not his son. Thorin pinched the bridge of his nose. How could he screw up that badly?

'Hey, sleeping beauty, you´re up!' Dwalin sat down beside him and put a cup of tea in front of Thorin. 'And stay put this time, you broke some of our tiles when you fainted in our kitchen. Must be the rock hard pighead of yours.'

But Thorin did not even listen. He was overwhelmed by the returning memories. He had to tell Belana that Kili was not Frerins son. Frerin, who she began dating now. Thorin fell back onto the couch.

'Did he faint again?' Ori came into the living room with Fili.

'Nope, although he seems close.' Dwalin answered.

'Would you stop talking about me as if I am not there?' Thorin sighed. 'I think I have feelings for Belana.' Ups, where did that come from? It could not get any worse. Thorin closed his eyes in defeat.

'Ya think, Sherlock?' Dwalin snorted. 'We already knew that.'

'We?!' Thorin sat up straight. 'Who is we?!'

'Ori and me. We talk about it all the time.' Dwalin shrugged his shoulders.

'And why didn´t you tell me?' Thorin roared and Fili ducked under the couch.

'We thought you knew!' Ori looked at Thorin with big eyes. 'It was so obvious!'

Thorin groaned and buried his face in his hands. He had to tell Belana. Despite Dwalins and Oris protest, Thorin left their apartment and showed up at Belanas doorstep later that evening. Belana looked at her friend in surprise, but she let him in anyway.

'Thorin, its almost midnight, what do you want?' Belana asked.

'Belana...I...' Thorin had no idea how to start and looked at Belana at a loss of words.

Belana frowned and tried to read his expression. She had noticed that Thorin acted strangely lately and she had seen his affection towards Kili. The way he looked at her now made der feel insecure.

'Thorin...I think I know what you want to say.' Belana was sure that she had read her friend correctly. 'Listen, we spent alot of time together recently and you also spent alot of time with Kili. I have been away very long and naturally we wanted to catch up the time we lost, but I think that you might have gotten too attached to...me. Us? I felt something develop between us in the last weeks, but I am dating your brother and he is Kilis father and I...I just don´t think that we would have a future together. We are best friends, wouldn´t that be weird?'

Thorin had stayed silent during Belanas babbling, babbling which he usually found adorable. But her words made his heart freeze over. She had felt it, too. The connection between them that had grown since Kili was in both their lives. But she had decided to ignore this feeling and had chosen his brother. The one of whom she thought was Kilis father. Thorin knew that he still had to tell Belana the truth.

'That was actually not what I wanted to tell you.' Thorin tried again, but Belana interrupted him by gasping.

Belana felt embarassed and ashamed for jumping to conclusions and thinking that Thorin might have shown interest in her. 'Oh god...listen, Thorin, I am awfully sorry, this is really embarassing. You know what? Just forget my rambling and ...forget that I ever said anything. I am tired, confused, I am working all day and the dates in the evening...maybe I just misinterpreted things. Just...would you please leave? I really need some sleep. I am so sorry for dumping this all on you.'

Thorin tried to speak again, but Belana had already turned away from him. The moment was over and Thorin could not tell her what he had wanted to tell her anymore. Slowly, Thorin stood up from the couch and walked to the door. He had planned to leave without saying goodbye, but a small voice made him stop in the door.

'Will you come to my birthday this saturday?' Kili stood in the doorway to his room and looked up at Thorin with sleepy eyes. 'I will turn six.'

Thorin had always been vulnerable to puppy eyes - oh my! he had forgotten Fili at Dwalins and Oris! - and with a sigh he kneeled down to Kili to speak to him on eye level.

'Of course I will be there. I would not miss it for the world.' he softly told the boy and Kili smiled.

'Goodnight, uncle Thorin.' he mumbled and walked back to bed.

'Goodnight...Kili.' Thorin slowly stood up and bit his lip. Closing his eyes in defeat he made for the door, not seing Belana stand in the living room, watching him leave with an unreadable expression. He had to get Fili and go to bed. His own preferably.

#

Thorin managed to stay away from Belana and Kili until Saturday. But he had promised Kili that he would be there and he would be true to his word. The party took place at Frerins, on the rooftop of one of the buildings around Central Parc. There was a pool, a cake, drinks and everything a kid could wish for. But Kili pouted as Thorin got there. He stood near the pool and looked lost. Thorin was about to go to him as he bumped into Belana. Belana in a bikini. Damn.

'Thorin. Its great to see you here!' Belana smiled and Thorin could only see honesty in her eyes.

'I promised Kili that I would come.' Thorin looked at Kili again. 'He looks sad, what happened?'

'He wanted a different party location, but Frerin wanted to surprise him. Besides, Kilis preferred party location was a bit odd.' Belana sighed.

'Where did he want to have his party?' Thorin had to ask.

'In a kill shelter for dogs.' Belana had to smile despite the depressing thought. 'He wanted people to see the dogs, fall in love with them and adopt them. Saving them from getting killed.'

'Thats...' Thorin had to smile, too. 'Thats original. Very clever.'

Belana smiled at the compliment and waved Kili over. As the boy saw Thorin his face brightened and he ran towards them in a hurry.

'Uncle Thorin! You made it!' Kili cried and jumped into Thorins arms, much to Belanas and Thorins surprise.

Frerin came around the corner and smiled as his brother. 'Hey, brother! Glad you could make it!'

The blond man stopped at Belanas side and wrapped his arm around her. It was clear that they belonged together, even for Thorin. Biting his lip, Thorin tried to ignore the stinging jealousy in his heart. When had he fallen in love with his friend? And why did it have to be his brother who ruined it for him?

'Kili, what do you say about some ice cream?' Frerin smiled at the boy in Thorins arms. 'Shall we go and get some?'

Kili looked at Thorin first and Thorin noticed that his little arms clung to him closely.

'Its alright, you can go. You love ice cream, Kili.' Thorin assured him and let him down.

'Will you wait here? Don´t go anywhere!' Kili asked Thorin and after his nod, he reluctantly took Frerins hand and walked to the pool.

Thorin and Belana stood beside each other silently, not knowing how to start a conversation. It was Thorin who could not take the silence anymore.

'So? You and Frerin? Its official now?' Thorin asked tried to sound confident.

'Yes.' Belana smiled. But her smile was not a happy one. 'Me and Frerin.'

'Nice outfit.' Thorin grinned at Belanas blush. 'Is that one new?'

'Frerin gave it to me to wear today.' Belana told Thorin who rolled his eyes. Frerin, of course.

He was about to say something snarky as they heard a loud splash and saw Kili in the pool with all his clothes on. A red haired small boy and a blonde teen were standing at the side of the pool, grinning smugly. Thorin frowned and remembered Kili telling him about the two boys who bullied him at school. Determined, Thorin walked over to them and grabbed them by the collar. Shrieking loudly - Gimli would lateron insist that it had been a manly yell - the two boys landed in the pool. Belana was about to help Kili out, who was grinning at Thorin. Frerin was wrapping a towel around Kilis shoulders, but Kili immediately ran to Thorin, hugging his legs.

'Thank you, uncle Thorin. That was my favorite birthday present today!' he smiled and Thorin could feel every inch of his heart melt for the little boy. But he also saw Frerins sad face and Belanas frown. Clearly, his bond to Kili was stronger than any of them had expected it to be. But Thorin did not feel sorry for this. He smiled at Kili and gave him his real present. It was a small plastic bow with some plastic arrows. The tips were covered with suckers, so that the arrows would stick to their target.

'I love them!' Kili exclaimed. 'Thank you, uncle Thorin! Mom! Look what I got!'

The towel fell to the floor as Kili rushed back to Belana and showed her the present. Frerin was the one who picked it up again and smiled sadly at his brother.

'Wow, you two get along quite nice! Kili hates me.' Frerin told his brother and Thorin winced.

'He does not hate you...' he tried to assure his brother.

'Yeah, he does. He told me, actually.' Frerin sighed. 'Help me, big brother. Tell me what to do with that kid.'

Thorin frowned at his little brother. Frerin had always been the one who had wanted a family and children. And now he asked Thorin for advice. Thorin of all people! And he asked him how to get along with HIS kid. But of course, he did not know that Kili was Thorins kid...Thorin sighed and felt a headache building up behind his eyes. This would be a long day.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More father son bonding time.....

Thorin felt very bad as he left Frerin that day. Not only did he have to listen to Frerin and his rotten relationship to Kili, of whom Frerin thought as his son, he also had to listen to Frerin talk about Belana. How great she was and how happy she made him. Thorin, as theolder brother, had tried to help Frerin and had tried to assure him that everything would be alright, but he mentally kicked himself.

Now, Thorin knew what he had to do. He needed to stay away from Belana and Kili, even if it was the hardest thing he had to do. The way Kili had clung to him today had made Thorin realise that the boy felt really attached to him. In fact, their relationship was father and son like. But only Thorin - and Dwalin and Ori - knew. Thorin walked to Dwalins to pick up Fili. The dog was on the balcony with Ori, enjoying the afternoon sun. Ori had even given Fili sunglasses and Thorin could not help but smirk at the sight.

'You look like shit, pal.' Dwalin said and gave Thorin a soda. 'No more beer for you or you´ll pass out on my couch again.'

'I apologise for being such a nuisance lately.' Thorin sighed.

'Nonsense! You are our friend and you are in trouble.' Dwalin shook his head. 'We are there for you, lad. Thats what friends are for.'

'Cheers to that.' Thorin smiled gratefully and took a sip of the soda.

'So? How was the birthday party? Belana had invited us, too, but to be honest I did not want to spend my saturday with a whole lot of screaming kids.' Dwalin rolled his eyes.

'You missed quite some action.' Thorin smirked. 'Two bullies from Kili school showed up and shoved him into the pool. I made them follow right away.'

Dwalin roared of laughter. 'A little protective of the boy now are you?'

'He is my son.' Thorin was ernest again. 'He is my son and I had to listen to Frerin who asked for advice how to get along with my kid. And he does not know! It drives me mad!'

'I know, lad. I know.' Dwalin nodded in understanding. 'But you could tell them the truth, you know? It will be painful and you might lose them all, but you have to tell them sooner or later.'

'I know.' Thorin took another sip of the soda. 'But I need more time.'

#

Thorin kept himself busy with work during the next week. He had no idea how to fix the damage he had done and he knew that hiding behind his work was an act of cowardism. But he could not help himself. On saturday evening, Thorin was still in his office as the phone rang. It was Belana.

'Belana? Is everything alright?' Thorin instantly worried.

'Thorin, I am fine. Its about Kili...' Belana sounded tired.

'What´s with Kili?' Thorin sat up in his office chair and frowned.

'Nothing bad...its just...' Belana sighed. 'I am away with Frerin and Dis for the weekend. Kili wanted to stay in New York, so I asked a friend of mine who also has kids if he could stay with them. Now my friend called and the kids have gotten lice. Lice, Thorin! And I can´t come back, the next flight leaves only tomorrow...'

'Where can I pick him up? Shall I take him to the emergency room?' Thorin immediately asked.

'Thorin, he only has lice!' Belana chuckled and took a deep breath. 'Thank you, Thorin, for helping me out. But please don´t be all Thorin about it...I´ll give you the address, but listen closely - you´ll have to do me another favor...'

'Did you just use my name as a verb again? I hate it when you do this...and seriously I am not that bad.' Thorin grumbled.

'Seriously?' Thorin could hear Belanas smirk through the phone. 'Never mind...please, Kili trusts you and you are the only friend I have in New York who I am trusting with Kili...'

'Stop the rambling, Baggins, and tell me what you need me to do.' Thorin told her softly and pinched the bridge of his nose. And so it continues.

#

Thorin tried to remember everything that Belana had told him about making sure that the lice would not return. He had to get special washing agent and had to wash the sheets and the pillow cases of the bed and the couch as hot as possible. He picked up the special anti-lice-tonic from the store, as well as the lice comb. On his way to the address Belana had given him, Thorin tried to keep calm. He hated lice. Frerin had lice in school once and since that incident, Thorin wore his hair short. It had fallen over his shoulder in waves before, but getting the lice out had been a long and tormenting experience. He took a look at Fili on the back seat and sighed. This would be a long night.

'Do I have to wear that?' Kili complained after Thorin had picked him up at his friends house. Kili was wearing a bathing cap and plucked at it.

'As long as you´re in my car, yes you´ll have to wear it.' Thorin smirked as he saw Kilis pout. 'Its just two more blocks and nobody will see you.'

'Fili sees me and he is already laughing at me.' Kili stated and looked at the dog beside him.

'Fili is a dog, he cannot laugh.' Thorin answered, but as he looked into the mirror he could actually see Fili, whose hackles sounded like chuckles. 'Sto it, both of you. We´re home.'

Thorin dragged the boy, the dog and the anti lice stuff up into Belanas apartment and started to clean up. The anti lice shampoo had to stay on for ten minutes and during that time, Thorin washed the sheets and the pillow covers. He also washed the stuffed animals and Kilis clothes. As he came back to the bathroom he saw Fili sitting at Kilis feet, scratching himself.

'Damn it.' Thorin cursed and watched the dog, who stopped scratching the moment Thorin laid eyes on him. Fili looked up at Thorin and tried not to look too itchy, but it was too late. He tried to escape, but Thorin had already picked him up and had planted him right into the bath tup next to Kili. He shampooed the dog and the boy again and looked down at them, wishing that he had a camera right now. Two wet and miserable faces looked up at him, both heads (and fur) covered with foam.

'Ten minutes, then I will comb the lice out of your hair.' Thorin pointed at them. 'Don´t go anywhere, I´ll clean up your room!'

Thorin was surprised to actuall find both of them inside of the bathtub when he returned. He carefully washed out the shampoo and wrapped two towels around them. Fili looked like a fluffy teddy bear while he watched Thorin comb through Kilis hair. Thorin knew thta the dog dreaded to get the same treatment, but Thorin blocked the door and there was no way out for Fili. With a sigh, the dog laid down on the bath mat and waited.

Thorin combed through Kilis dark hair and frowned as he pulled out one louse after the other. He must have winced because Kili turned around over his shoulder and looked at him.

'Are you going to throw up?' he asked and Thorin smirked.

'No, lad, don´t worry.' Thorin put aside the comb and grabbed Fili. 'How about you help me removing the lice from Fili?'

'Yay!' Kili cheered and Thorin laughed as he saw the dog roll his eyes.


	9. Chapter 9

Later that evening, Thorin tugged Kili into bed. Fili had rolled up into a little fur ball at Kilis feet. He had forgiven Kili for combing his fur, but Thorin would have to really earn his forgiveness for bathing him. Kili had even braided some of the dogs hair on his snout and the dog had let him. Fili started to snore as Thorin finished his bedtime story for Kili. But the boy was not ready to sleep, yet.

'May I ask you something?' Kili looked at Thorin with big puppy eyes.

Thorin nodded and smiled. 'If you go to sleep afterwards.'

Kili chewed his lip and looked insecure. 'Do you have a father?'

'Everyone has a father, little One.' Thorin answered, but the blood in his veins froze at that topic.

'I know that, but how was your father like?' Kili sat up. 'Did he spend alot of time with you? Did he play with you? I would like to know how it feels to have one. If it feels like having you around.'

These last words took Thorins breath away and it took a long time to recover from that. But Kili was patient and waited until Thorin replied.

'My father was not around much...and he died when I was little.' Thorin told Kili and desperatly thought about what to say next.

'I´m sorry.' Kili mumbled. 'I never missed my father until I got to know you. Frerin tries to be my father, but I don´t like him. He is too nice and he always looks at Mommy in this strange way.'

'Too nice?' Thorin smirked. 'How can someone be too nice?'

'He tries to hard. He is not really nice, he just tries to impress my Mom.' Kili remarked. 'You never pretended to like me. You just do.'

Thorin swallowed heavily. 'Frerin likes you very much. He is just insecure around your mother because he knows that he can only be with her if you accept him.'

'But I do not want to accept him.' Kili pouted again. 'I know that you are not with my Mom, but can I stay with you more often?'

His words hurt more than Thorin had ever imagined. 'I...we will have to speak to your mother about that, ok?'

'K.' Kili was getting tired. He crwaled back under the sheets and Thorin pressed a small kiss to his forehead.

'Sleep tight, my little prince.' he murmured, but Kili was already asleep.

Thorin closed the door behind him as he walked out of Kilis room and leaned back against it. This was a nightmare.

#

Belana was back in her apartment at ten the next morning. She walked right into the kitchen where she heard voices and stopped dead in her tracks as she laid eyes on Thorin and Kili making pancakes. Thorin was wearing a bathing cap over his head and Kili sat on the counter. Belana chuckled as she walked near and cleared her throat.

'Mommy!' Kili jumped down the counter and threw himself into Belanas arms. Belana laughed and hurled him up, swirling around happily.

Thorin watched the beautiful moment and had to concentrate to not burn the pancakes. He was done with the pancakes as Belana spoke her next words.

'Wow...you look sexy.' Belana chuckled and pointed to the bathing cap. 'Whats with the plastic bag on your head, Durin?'

Thorin smirked and tried to ignore the jumping of his heart and the airplanes in his stomach. Women called them butterflies, but he had actual fighter jets flying around in there when Belana was around.

'I started itching this morning and just took some of the tonic myself. Just to make sure.' Thorin stated and cocked an eyebrow at Belana. 'Nothing can deform a handsome man.'

'And you are, buddy, you are.' Belana smiled and pressed a kiss against Thorins bearded cheek. 'Thank you for taking such good care of my little boy.'

Thorin nearly let go of the frying pan, but he winced at the word "buddy". He was about to say and do something stupid, but in that moment Frerin came through the door.

'Hey, brother. Nice cap...suits you.' Frerin shot Thorin a teasing smile. He walked past them and brought the suitcases to the bedroom.

Thorin saw the brooding look in Belanas face and frowned. 'What is it?'

Belana jerked out of her brooding state and smiled again. 'He asked me to move in with him. And I said yes.'

Thorin tried, he really did, but he could not feel happy about that. As much as he hated himself for doing this, he had to say something. 'Belana...I...Frerin has just divorced his wife. He has not gotten over his last relationship, yet. It is too soon, for both of you.'

'Thorin, please don´t do that.' Belana sighed and leaned back against the counter. 'You are supposed to be my friend, you should be happy for me.'

'I would be, if you were.' Thorin bit his lower lip. He had not planned to say this, but now it was out. 'I know you, Belana. You thirst for adventure and diversion in your life. And now you are forcing yourself into this life with Frerin. You will not be happy here, with him.'

Belana stared at him in shock. 'You sound like my father.' she stated bitterly. She started to pace up and down in the kitchen and finally stopped in front of Thorin, looking him in the eye. 'Is there another reason why I should not do this?'

Thorin was about to tell her everything as Frerin came rushing into the kitchen, snatching Belana away from him. Thorin paled as he watched Frerin press a kiss against Belanas lips and looked down at his feet. He needed to leave, he needed air.

'I will leave you to the rest of your weekend.' Thorin stated softly and made for the door. 'The pancakes are finished and the sirup for Kili is in the fridge. The last washing machine will be ready in about half an hour.'

'Are you not having breakfast with us?' Frerin asked and peeked at Thorin over Belanas shoulder.

'I am not hungry.' Thorin glanced back and tried to not look at Belana while speaking to his brother. 'See you later.'

Thorin was already at the open door as Frerin called after him. 'Hey, brother! Mind to take off the sexy cap before you go outside?'

Thorin hesitated and then took off the bathing cap. He had totally forgotten about this. It would have been quite embarassing to leave the building with the cap on and Thorin had to smirk. Screw it, the day could not get any worse anyway. Thorin made a short detour to the living room to tussle Kilis hair and get Fili and left the building. As painful as it would be, he would just have to stay away from Kili and Belana for a while. There was no way around it.

#

Three weeks later, Thorin tried to relax on his couch from a hard day at work. He had been successful in hiding either at work or in his apartment. Belana had tried to call a few times, but he had ignored his mobile phone. Fili had cuddled himself against Thorins middle on the couch. He was happy that Thorin let him use the couch now, all of a sudden. Of course the dog did not know that Thorin just needed someone to keep him from going insane from solitude. He did not even visit Dwalin and Ori anymore, for they would ask him if he had told Belana the truth yet.

Thorin was a mess. On a grey sunday afternoon, he heard a knock on his door and tried to ignore it. But Fili ran to the door and began to scratch at the wood. He had never done that before and Thorin quickly jumped off the couch to open the door. It was Kili and he was bleeding from a gash on his lip.

'My goodness! Kili, what happened?' Thorin kneeled down and took the little boy into his arms.

'I got into a fight...I was at Gimlis birthday and I tried to ignore him, but he and Legolas dumped me into the small puddle and hit me. They said that it was the revenge for my uncle dealing with my business at my party.' Kili told him and sobbed into his shoulder.

Thorin paled in fury and his heart wrenched in guilt about bringing this over Kili. Fili jumped up and down, trying to lick the blood from Kilis lip. He made Kili chuckle again and Thorin stroked his cheek, trying to ease the pain. He had nothing at home to clean the cut on Kilis lip, only bourbon and some tissues. But that won´t do.

'Kili, how did you even come here?' he asked.

'I walked.' Kili told him.

'Where was the party?' Thorin asked and nearly dreaded the answer.

'At Charlie´s...' Kili told him quietly and Thorin looked at him with wide eyes.

'Thats nearly twelve blocks!' he exclaimed and Kili winced. Belanas place was nearer than Thorins. 'Why did you come to me?'

'I...I wanted to see you. You are the closest person I have to a father.' Kili sobbed softly and Thorins heart broke. 'And...Frerin is with Mommy. The whole family came to see them and I did not want to disturb them.'

The whole family...now that he said it, Thorin remembered listening to a message on his machine from Dis, telling him that they would be at Belanas and Frerins today on a brunch. He had deleted the message and had forgotten all about it, until now.

With a heavy sigh, Thorin took Kilis hand and grabbed his keys. 'Come on, little One. I will take you home.'


	10. Chapter 10

Thorin sighed in despair as Belana opened the door a few moments later. He could see Gandalf and Frerin stand behind her and Thorin was close to turn around on his heels to get away. He had met Gandalf once during university, when he had visited his daughter. He was a sneaky old man with too much interest in other people´s lives and Thorin did not want him to complicate things. But apparently it was already too late. Gandalf took a close look at Kili and Thorin and smirked. Thorin felt like in hell. It was Belanas cry which jerked him out of his shocked state.

'Kili! Oh my God, what happened?' Belana took her son into her arms and gently stroke his face. She looked at Thorin in confusion and gestured him in.

'Legolas hit me.' Kili mumbled and Belana closed her eyes in defeat. She had almost seen that coming since the party and the pool incident.

'And why didn´t someone call me?' Belana looked at Kili and Thorin. 'Nobody from the party called.'

'They probably did not notice him missing.' Frerin wanted to take Kili and console him, but Kili backed away. Frerin frowned and Thorin could see that his brother´s irritation from being rejected so many times began to show.

'Come here, little one, I´ll take care of it.' Dis appeared out of nowhere and took Kilis hand as well as Filis leash. She knew that Kili would be more calm with his dog friend around. Frerin followed them and Thorin took the opportunity to talk to Belana. Her father was still standing in the doorway to the living room, watching them and Thorin could see him smirk secretly. He felt a cold shiver run down his spine and pulled Belana around the next corner.

'He came to you?' Belana looked from Kili to Thorin. 'He got beaten up and he came to you...and not to me.'

Belana sat down on a chair and sighed. 'I lost my bond to him when I started dating Frerin. For some reason they do not get along. Frerin tries, but they just don´t...get along. How can father and son be that different?'

And there was Thorins clue.

'Listen, Belana...' Thorin kneeled down in front of his friend. 'I need to tell you something and I need to tell you this now, as long as I have the courage...'

'Belana, dear, we are waiting for you in the living room...lunch is ready!' Gandalf came walking around the corner and cocked an eyebrow at Thorin kneeling in front of his daughter, her hands in his. 'Oh, did I interrupt something?'

Thorin clenched his jaw and mentally counted to ten. Belana looked as if she wanted to put her father off, but in that moment Frerin came barging in and snapped Belana away.

'Kili wants to see you, sweetheart.' Frerin told Belana had helped her up, dragging him away with her. Thorin was still kneeling on the floor and shook his head. He jumped as he felt a hand on his shoulder. Gandalf looked down at him and chuckled into his beard.

'Sometimes things need to be left unsaid.' He told Thorin and Thorin frowned. His stubborness kicked in and he stood up, brushing off Gandalfs hand.

'And some thing need to be done.' he turned away from the old man and walked past him, missing the bright grin on Gandalfs face.

He found Frerin in the living room, but there was no sign of Belana.

'She is in the bathroom with Kili. The cut is not that bad.' Frerin informed his brother and gave him a nudge. 'Look at that.'

He pulled something out of his pocket and showed it to Tohrin, who paled. 'You are not serious!'

'Why not?' Frerin grinned as he showed his brother the beautiful engagement ring. 'Belana is great, I would be a fool if I let her go. And the situation with Kili...maybe he´ll get used to me one day.'

Thorin looked at the ring and then back to his brother in despair. 'Frerin, don´t do this.' he almost begged, but Frerin just nudged him again.

'Ah...come on, brother, you know that I am reckless when it comes to love.' Frerin did not see the ernest sorrow in his brothers eyes. 'Hey, where are you going?'

'I am doing what needs to be done.' Thorin stated firmly and looked back at Frerin. 'I am terribly sorry.'

'Sorry about hat?' Frerin called after him, but Thorin was already opening the door to the bathroom.

'Dis, can you give us a minute?' without waiting for the answer Thorin grabbed Belanas hand and dragged her out of the bathroom and into her bedroom, which was the only room in the apartment without other people. Dis, Fili and Kili stayed behind with perplexed expressions.

Belana jerked her hand out of Thorins as he closed the door behind them. 'What is it with you Durins just dragging me around?'

Thorin jumped at her angry voice. Belana was an independent and strong woman and she hated to be patronised or shoved around. He lifted his hands in defeat.

'Belana. Please, just listen to me.' Thorin took her hand and gently guided her to sit on the bed. 'I have been meaning to tell you somthing for a while now...'

Both jumped as the door opened and Gandalf and Frerin peeked in. 'Ah, I told you that they are in here.' Gandalf told Frerin and Thorin snapped.

'Get the FUCK out of here!' Thorin yelled and slammed the door shut again. He locked it and leaned against it. Belana looked at him with big eyes.

'Thorin, I know that you do not like my father, but that was incredibly unpolite...' she started but Thorins glare made her shut up. 'You are scaring me, what is wrong?'

'I am Kilis father.' There. He had said it. Thorin had never been good with words, but this time he had really blown it.

'You are...' Belana needed a minute. 'No, this can´t be. Frerin is, the clinic used his donation to...'

'It was my donation.' Thorin leaned back against the door, knowing that probably both, Gandalf and Frerin, would be pressing their ears against the door to listen to their conversation.

'What do you mean by this? How is this even possible?' Belana was happy hat she was siting on the bed, otherwise she would have fainted. 'They showed me the vial, it was locked into the fridge and had Frerins name on it.'

'I switched the donation.' Thorin pressed out. 'We...Frerin and I...we went ot the sperm bank the night before your artificial insemination and Frerin showed me the place. I found his donation and accidentily dropped it. I replaced it with my...sperm. Listen, I was drunk and I only realised what I had done some weeks ago. I didn´t even remember it until then! I could not say it before, but I will say it now.'

Belana looked at him with a horrified expression, showing him her disappointment and her hurt. It broke his heart to see her like that but he had to tell her the truth.

'I love you, Belana.' Thorin whispered hoarsely. 'And I love Frerin, I hate myself for doing this to you, but you need to know the truth. I do not expect neither of you to forgive me. I am so sorry.'

Slowly, Belana stood up from the bed and walked up to Thorin. The next thing he knew was that her hot palm slapped him across the face. It stung horribly, but he knew that he deserved it.

'Get out.' tears rolled over Belanas face and her eyes were cold. 'Get out and never speak to us again.'

Thorin took a deep breath and felt his heart shatter into a million pieces. Of course he ahd not expected Belana to forgive him instantly, but he also had not exprected her to end all ties to him. Just like that. He nodded slowly and opened the door. He faced Gandalf and his brother, both staring at him in shock. Gandalf seemed impressed, but Frerin seemed utterly lost. Thorin lowered his gaze, not being able to meet anyone glance as he took Filis leash and walked out. Even the small dog seemed reluctant to go with him. At the door, Thorin turned and his eyes met Kilis. He looked down at Fili and sighed. Thorin walked back and met Kili half way through the apartment. He could see Belana stand in the doorway to her bedroom, looking at him with an unreadable expression.

'Will you do me a favor?' Thorin asked Kili, who nodded expectantly.

'We will not see each other for some time. Will you take care of Fili for me? He seems very attached to you and I...I would be happy if he would stay here, as your friend.' Thorin told Kili and gave him the leash.

'Really?' Kili was so excited that he got a pet that he did not notice Thorins heartbreak. 'Mommy, can I keep him? Pleeeeeeeeaaaase?'

Thorin did not turn around to look at Belana, but Kilis grin widened and she seemed to have nodded.

'Goodbye Fili, goodbye Kili.' Thorins voice broke and Kili looked at him in worry.

'Is everything alright, uncle Thorin?' he asked and Thorin knew that he had to leave or he would break into tears in front of his son.

'Take care of each other, do you hear me?' Thorin told both Fili and Kili and Kili nodded. Fili barked and Thorin smiled at the small dog who had become his companion over the years. Not looking back, he turned to the door and walked out of their lives.

He arrived at Dwalins two hours later. His friend looked him up and down and instantly knew what had happened. After dinner and a few beers, Thorin was able to speak to his friend about what happened.

'I told her, Dwalin. She will probably tell Kili. But I lost her. I was honest to her, but I lost her.' Thorin told him and sighed in defeat.

'You look exhausted, you should go home, Thorin.' Dwalin told him and patted his shoulder.

'They are my home, Dwalin.' Thorin said and for the first time in his life, Dwalin saw something inside of Thorin break.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It will get better soon.....


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Happy End....

'Kili, get out of the flower pot this instant. This is not a sandbox!' Gandalf called out into the garden. Belana glanced around his back and smirked.

'That´s Fili, Daddy.' Belana chuckled for the first time in weeks. 'Seriously, one is a dog and the other one a boy.'

Since Thorins revelation, Belanas life had been dull and full of regret and sadness. In some way it was reassuring to know why Frerin and Kili had been that different and why the bond between Thorin and Kili had been so strong from the beginning. But Belana felt the betrayal like an everlasting sting in her heart. Thorin had not betrayed her on purpose, she knew that, but if he had been honest from the moment he had remembered his actions, they all would have suffered less. At least that was what Belana was telling herself.

'Fili! Come on! We´re having lunch!' Gandalf called out and Belana rolled her eyes.

'Kili, Dad, that´s Kili! Or do you want the dog to sit at our table during lunch?'

'Meh, when I call one, the other one comes along, too!' Gandalf smirked. 'Unseperable those two!'

Belana had left Frerin and did not even fell too sad about it. Frerin was a wonderful man, he was goodlooking, he was intelligent, nice, polite and he had humor. And he had really tried for Belana and Kili. But that had actually been the thing. He had to try. He had not fit into their lives and Kili had known from the beginning. Belana did not know why she had not trusted her gut feeling when she had been with Frerin. She had never really been in love with him, she realised it now. But she had been alone and lonely and she had dreaded to stay alone and lonely as a single mother. Frerin had been there for her when she had needed someone. But would Thorin have been there for her if she had asked? Thorin was her friend, he had always supported her and he had always been honest with her. Always, until that one time. That one really important time.

Kili had asked her what her fight with Thorin had been all about and Belana had told Kili who his real father was. But instead of being hurt or shocked, Kili had accepted Thorin as his father in a heartbeat. In fact, Kili had not seemed shocked at all, he had even pointed out the similarities between him and Thorin to his mother. In his heart, the little boy had known who his real father was, even if he had not realised it. Now, Kili gave his mother time to get over it and he accepted that he would not see his real father for a longer time, since he and his mother could not bear each others presense.

Thorin stayed true to his word and stayed away from Belana and Kili. He missed them and he missed Fili. He had not realised how much he missed the small dog, who at the beginning, was more a nuisance than a pet. But he had loved Fili and the only thing which made him smile was that Fili was with his best friend Kili now. Thorin almost pitied Belana for having Fili and Kili together, they would only cause mischief and their cute puppy eyes would keep them out of any kind of trouble or consequences for their actions. Thorins days passed uneventfully. He stood up, ate breakfast, went to work, came back home, ate dinner and went to bed. He dated no more and he did not even look at other women. Every day was the same and one day, Dwalin and Ori had enough and dragged Thorin out of his apartment on a saturday morning. They had a nice barbecue at Dwalins home and in the evening they went out.

Thorin had changed. He had needed a complete change of scene and had shaved his beard and let his hair grow. He had a light stubble now and his hair was long enough to fit into a ponytail. He looked like a soccer player from the eighties, but apparently that did not diminish women´s interest in him. After one hour at the bar with Dwalin and Ori, many women had come by and had thrown theirselves at him. Years ago, Thorin would have been delighted and would have not gone home alone, but today, Thorin was reluctant and showed no interest in any of the women. Dwalin was amused as Thorin scared away the third woman that night.

'You, my friend, are the best woman repeller.' Dwalin snorted and patted Thorins shoulder.

'I am not.' Thorin tried to defend himself.

'Yeah, ya´re!' Dwalin roared of laughter. 'First, you correct their grammar, then you try to explain why your jokes are funny and then you cannot stop talking about the Irish potato famine! And that ponytail...yuck! What´s with you, man?'

Thorin expected to feel hurt by his friends words, but he was not. In fact, he did not even care. 'It was your idea to go out. I never wanted to get to know any one of these...women.'

'You needed to get out.' Ori patted Thorins arm. 'We are your friends, Thorin, and we cannot watch you give up on your life just because...'

'Just because what?' Thorin glared at Ori. 'I ruined every chance of hapiness in my life. I lost one of my best friends, I lost my son, my brother...I lost my dog.'

'Frerin is hurt, but you did not lose him.' Dwalin assured. 'You know him. He will be a little bit off for a few weeks, but he´ll be fine. You are brothers, he will forgive you.'

'But I will not forgive myself.' Thorin grumbled. 'I hurt them all. I hurt them beyond damage. I destroyed Frerins and Belanas chance of a happy family. And also Kilis.'

'You cannot be serious!' Ori looked at Thorin in shock. 'How do you even know that Frerin and Belana would have been happy? They were no happy couple! Belana was lonely and Frerin used her as a rebound for his exwife. Kili was not happy either, you must have seen this!'

True, Thorin had seen this, but still it had been their decision to break up not him jeopardising their relationship. Like this, he was at fault for their break up.

'You stubborn bastard, don´t you see that your stubborness makes all three of you miserable?' Dwalin grumbled.

'Belana told me to go and stay away from them. I will respect her wishes.' Thorin stated firmly and took a big sip of his beer. 'If she wanted to see me, she would. Same with Kili. They must hate me.'

'They do not hate you. You hate you.' a deep voice made all three of them jump.

'Mister Gandalf!' Ori exclaimed and Thorin froze. He turned around slowly and looked at the old man.

'Mister Ori, Mister Dwalin, Thorin.' Gandalf smiled at them as if nothing had ever happened. 'Mind if I join you?'

Gandalf did not even wait for an answer and sat down at the bar with Thorin and his friends. 'So? I see this young man is as miserable as my daughter. What are we going to do about this?' Gandalf turned to Dwalin and Ori, ignoring Thorin.

'I beg your pardon? I am right here!' Thorin growled, but Gandalf was not intimidated by the tall man.

'And seriously, somebody has to help Belana with those two boys, they are driving me insane!' Gandalf exclaimed and made Dwalin and Ori chuckle. 'Fili with his sneaky grin and Kili with his puppy eyes.'

'I think its the other way around.' Ori tried to correct him, but Gandalf shook his head.

'No, no, thats exactly the way it goes.' he smirked. But then he looked at Thorin. 'You cannot just disappear out of their lives.'

'Belana does not want me in their lives.' Thorin stated and could not help but feel the sting in his heart saying those words.

'Belana is as stubborn as you are.' Gandalf grumbled. 'And I am too old for this nonsense. I need to disappear again, but I need to know that my little girl and my grandsons are going to be alright.'

'Grandsons?' Thorin paled. He had not seen Belana for months and maybe she and Frerin...they had been together after all...

'Yes, grandsons.' Gandalf did not let Thorin down easy. But he could not resist Thorins puppy eyes either and sighed. 'Fili and Kili.'

Damn Durin puppy eyes.

#

It was weeks later when Thorin and Belana met again. It was Belana, who was waiting outside of Thorins building after he went home from work. Thorin froze as he saw her and the only reason why he wasn´t ran over by the people behind him was the fact that he was taller and more strong than all of them. Belana was wearing a beautiful cotton wool dress and a red coat. Her locks were flowing around her head and her eyes were watery from the wind. To Thorin she had never been more beautiful. After a few moments of shock and silence, he walked over to her and looked down at her, waiting for her to make the first move.

'I thought about it.' Belana started and seemed bothered by her own inability to be smooth. 'You are Kilis father and...and you cannot just diappear out of his life.'

Thorin nearly smirked as he remembered Gandalf words a few weeks ago. But Belana had said "his" life and not "our lives" and Thorin did not get his hopes up.

'I left Frerin.' Belana continued. 'I left him because he is not you.'

Thorins head jerked up as he heard her say this. Belana looked at him with a warm and honest smile and for the first time Thorin saw in her eyes what he felt himself. Friendship, longing and love. Thorin swallowed heavily and hesitantly reached out for Belanas face. Belana leaned into his touch when he was half way there and Thorin felt shivers run through his hand and down his spine as they touched. Slowly, he leaned down to kiss her and the second their lips met he felt his heart melt.

There they were, standing in the busy streets of New York, kissing and smiling at each other. They did not see the small boy and the small dog rush towards them, both (yes both) with a happy smile on their faces and an old man disappearing into the busy traffic.

The End.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for following the story. Thanks for your kudos and comments, they always make me so happy :)  
> I hope you enjoyed!

**Author's Note:**

> I am happy for every comment, kudos or bookmark! :)


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